The Ceiling
by SaxyGirl
Summary: In which Cullen and the Inquisitor discuss the hole in his ceiling.


_AN: A little short that popped into my head on my most recent play through. Enjoy!_

 _Oh, and I own nothing._

 _llll_

"You should really do something about that hole in the roof." Cullen glances up at the Inquisitor. She has her head tilted back and is staring at the ceiling. Sunlight shines down through the hole and he can see dust motes dancing through the beams.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because roofs aren't supposed to have holes," she responds, as if the reason is obvious.

"It's not important," he replies, deflecting the question. "What is important are these reports." She turns away from the ceiling to focus on the documents in his hand.

 _llll_

"Why haven't you fixed that yet?" The Inquisitor stands in front of him in her not-suited-for-cold weather tunic and leggings. Her arms are wrapped around her torso and she rubs her hands over them in an effort to warm up. She is again gazing at the ceiling. "It's freezing in here!"

He frowns. "I hadn't noticed." The cold has never bothered him much and his armor and bedclothes are suitably warm for this weather.

She glowers at him. "Well it is. Not all of us are wearing fur lined mantles." He blinks at her and then sweeps it off his shoulders and over hers. Her mouth falls open in shock.

"Now, about these missives," he leans over the desk and points at them, drawing her attention away from his roof and back to their current target.

 _llll_

"You do realize that roofs were designed to keep nature out." She sounds amused. He does not have to look up to know she is watching the snow drift in through the hole.

"Your point?" he asks, immediately regretting it.

"My point is that you have nature all over your office, Cullen. How do you sleep when it's raining or snowing harder than this?" she questions.

"There is a panel of treated linen that drops from the ceiling to protect my bedchamber," he replies. "And I happen to like nature."

"Well I do too, but I like it where it belongs, _outside_." She motions at the door to emphasize her words. "When are you going to get that fixed?"

He shrugs. "Eventually. Now, is there something you needed?"

 _llll_

His office is entirely too quiet and dark when he walks in. It only takes him a few moments to realize the hole in his ceiling has been boarded up. The panic sets in almost immediately and he stumbles back, blindly reaching for the door and managing to wrench it open. He trips out onto the walkway, gripping at the wall and staring out over the landscape around Skyhold. His heartbeat slowly returns to normal and the haze of panic slips away from his brain. He exhales slowly and decides that tonight he will stand watch with the guards instead of going in his office.

 _llll_

"What in the Maker's name are you doing?" She sounds angry. Cullen is perched dangerously on the roof of his office, yanking boards up with the tools he borrowed from Ser Morris. He feels exposed in only a tunic and pants, but wearing heavy armor on a slanted roof is not a wise decision. He pulls another nail free and tosses the board down to the pile below him.

"I'm removing the boards," he answers.

"I can see that," she spits back. " _Why_ are you removing them? I paid to have that hole fixed!"

"Leave me a note with how much and I'll pay you back," he replies.

"Cullen! What are you doing this for?" She sounds shrill and he flinches.

"If I wanted the hole patched up, I would have done it ages ago!" he snaps back, pulling at the last board. It comes free and he tosses it down triumphantly and then drops the tools through the hole before climbing down himself. She is at the top of the ladder waiting for him.

"I was trying to do something nice for you!" she growls.

He sighs and grabs a towel, running it over his face and neck. "And I appreciate it," he tells her. "But is it so hard to believe that I like the hole?"

"Well I don't!" she retorts.

"It's _my_ room and office!" he yells back.

"Well I would like to spend more time with you, but I can't stand that thing!" They are drawing a crowd and Cullen can see the soldiers gathering outside his door.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" he asks.

"Well why does it matter so much to you?" She throws his words back at him.

He sighs and shakes his head, lowering his voice to hopefully keep others from overhearing. "Why don't you respect me enough to drop it? It would be obvious to most people that I don't want to discuss it."

"Why don't you trust me enough to tell me?" she shoots back, though her voice is quieter also.

He sighs. "I can't talk about it. Maybe not ever." She scoffs and slides down the ladder, disappearing out the door.

 _llll_

"You should tell her," Leliana is perched on his desk, fingers toying with an arrowhead. "She will understand."

"It's not that." Cullen knows she would understand and he trusts her to not use it against him. "I just hate talking about it. It brings up those memories and then the nightmares are much worse."

"That may be true," Leliana responds, "But at least she would be here to help keep them away."

"Think you're so smart," he mutters, looking over his bookshelves for something to help him fall asleep. "Sitting there lecturing me about matters of the heart. When was the last time you even heard from your lover, hm?"

"That is a low blow, Cullen, you know why she is gone." Leliana sounds hurt and he sighs.

"You're right, I apologize. I'm sorry Leliana. I haven't been sleeping well." He selects a book and flips it open.

"That's probably because you have a hole in your roof." He spins, the book falling to the floor and finds her standing just inside the door. Leliana is nowhere to be seen.

"Believe it or not, the hole helps me sleep," he blurts before he can stop himself. She arches a brow, confusion shifting over her features. He sighs and rubs his hand over the back of his neck. "I'm sorry," he begins. "I should have told you this ages ago but it's… difficult for me to discuss."

She pushes the door closed and locks it and then steps forward, taking one of his hands in both of hers. "You can tell me anything, you know that."

So he does. He tells her about the tower and Uldred, the demons and being trapped. He talks about Kirkwall and Meredith and everything that led up to the Chantry explosion and what happened in the aftermath. He explains it all and when he is finished, he feels wrung out.

"I have nightmares frequently," he says. "Reliving events in both places. When I wake up and immediately see the sky through that hole it reminds me of where I am and what I'm doing. That I survived and am healing." He runs a hand through his hair. "That's why I don't fix it."

She bites her lip. "I'm sorry I took that from you," she murmurs and he shakes his head, pulling her close so that he can hug her.

"You didn't know," he responds.

"Thank you for telling me," she murmurs into his chest.

"Thank you for not running screaming," he replies. "Most women would have."

"Well then they're idiots. I'm not running anywhere and the only time I intend to scream around you is in pleasure." She grins and winks, sending him into a sputtering blush.

"I didn't scare you off?" he asks when he feels somewhat composed.

"Cullen, it's going to take more than nightmares to run me off. I'm afraid you're stuck with me now."

"I see," he replies, hands sliding along her sides to her waist. "You know, Leliana had a suggestion."

Her eyebrows arch. "She did?"

He nods, leaning down to nuzzle her throat. "Mhmm. She suggested that you could keep my nightmares away."

Her breath catches and he hears her swallow. "Well, I think it's worth a try, don't you?"

"Absolutely." He shifts her back on the desk, practically climbing up over her.

"If it works, will you fix the hole?" she asks and he laughs.

"Let's take this one step at a time, okay? We can argue about the ceiling later."


End file.
